Why is it that IQ doesn’t correlate perfectly (or even correlate strongly, for that matter) with success in life? Yep, same question, slightly different answer. Goleman is the one who started the whole “EQ” thing. The factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well include self-awareness (sounds familiar), self-discipline, delaying gratification, and empathy. As a writer for the New York Times, Goleman entertainingly presents the fascinating scientific research that provides the basis of his theories. My vote: You should read it.

Educators, long disturbed by schoolchildren’s lagging scores in math and reading, are realizing there is a different and more alarming deficiency:  emotional literacy.  And while laudable efforts are being made to raise academic standards, this new and troubling deficiency is not being addressed in the standard school curriculum.  As one Brooklyn teacher put it, the present emphasis in schools suggests that “we care more about how well schoolchildren can read and write than whether they’ll be alive next week.”

Four separate abilities Thomas Hatch & Howard Gardner from Spectrum school, identify as components of interpersonal intelligence:

Organizing groups – the essential skill of the leader, this involves initiating and coordinating the efforts of a network of people.  This is the talent seen in the theatre directors or producers, in military officers, and in effective heads of organizations and units of all kinds.  On the playground, this is the child who takes the lead in deciding what everyone will play, or becomes team captain.

Negotiating solutions – the talent of the mediator, preventing conflicts or resolving those that flare up.  People who have this ability excel in deal-making, in arbitrating or mediating disputes, they might have a career in diplomacy, in arbitration or law, or as middlemen or managers of takeovers.  These are the kids who settle arguments on the playing field.

Personal connection - … makes it easy to enter into an encounter or to recognize and respond fittingly to people’s feelings and concerns – the art of relationship.  Such people make good “team players,” dependable spouses, good friends or business partners; in the business world they do well as salespeople or managers, or can be excellent teachers.  [They] get along with virtually everyone else, easily entering into playing with them, and are happy doing so.  These children tend to be best at reading emotions from facial expressions and are most liked by their classmates.

Social analysis – being able to detect and have insights about people’s feelings, motives, and concerns.  This knowledge of how others feel can lead to an easy intimacy or sense of rapport.  At it’s best, this ability makes one a competent therapist or counselor –or, if combined with some literary talent, a gifted novelist or dramatist.